Happy Hour

The job keeps getting better. Or, I should say the perks. Today at 4:30 PM started the Halloween Happy Hour (really 2 hours if you wanted to stay until the 6:30 PM end time), complete with adult beverages, smoking cauldrons, homemade goodies to look like eyeballs, skeleton goblets, spooky music, mood lighting, spiders and bones decorations, and more. The spread was quite impressive! I so badly wanted to take pics but that would've been too weird, I think. Yes, even weirder than the decorations. I stopped by for a few minutes but passed up everything except a deviled eyeball, I mean, egg. I didn't think drinking and driving home in rush hour mixed too well. I could imagine me flying off the Crosstown (elevated highway) without much help. ;-)

I wore 100% RTW today. I am really getting my $18's worth out of this dress.The colors are just so me. I have at least 3 top layers that match it, so I hope I'm appearing to be wearing different outfits when I mix it up every week. Probably not fooling anyone, but it's nice to pretend.

I'm also getting really good at sucking in my stomach. Heh. I'm about to explode here. ;-) But at least it actually IS sucking in now. The actual weight loss isn't as dramatic lately (probably around 7 lbs. in the last few weeks), but things are definitely shifting because I'm fitting into smaller things in the stores, in patterns, and in my closet, and my measurements are smaller.

I've had a few comments asking what I'm doing to lose the weight. Well, one thing I'm NOT doing which I should be is to exercise. I need to move my eliptical (and probably myself, my TV and DVDs too) into the empty bedroom instead of waiting to move house, since at this point, who knows when that's happening and my preferred time to excercise would be early morning and alone, which I am NOT at the moment. We're still sharing the bedroom but with two dogs between us, it's hardly a marital bed. And *someone* is a late sleeper. Pffft. ;-)

But what I am doing is actively avoiding carbs, eating around 40-60g per day with nearly all of those coming from produce. I do not eat any processed foods, except 3-4 times a week, a whole-grain, high-fiber bread "round" with one meal. I don't eat potatoes, pasta, rice, sweets/sugars, or many fruits. I do eat lots of protein (fish, chicken, eggs, nuts, seeds, and some meats but they're harder for me to chew), reasonable amounts of fat and whole dairy, and lots of veggies and some berries. I don't count calories or measure anything. It's basically Atkins (not the induction phase), but I'm not following Atkins per se. I started eating this way out of necessity after my dental work, and the "side effects" were obvious so I researched low-carb eating both on the internet and in books from the library and came up with a routine and foods within that plan that work for me.

I bring a salad to work for lunch nearly every day but sometimes I bring a low-carb wrap filled with tuna or chicken salad, with guacamole on the side, and a sugar-free Jello or Atkins bar (OK, those are processed but not quite in the same group as what I call crap). I'm never hungry. The protein, fat, and fiber take care of that. I have hardly any interest in food except to fuel myself. It's not a comfort anymore. Looking in the mirror and wearing smaller clothes is my comfort. I've actually caught myself forgetting to eat. Which is a miracle compared to what I was doing a year ago, drowning my sorrows in sweets.

I don't miss anything about my former eating habits so I really don't think I'll be going back to it. I just feel too good with what I'm doing to change it. I only wish I had found this 15 years ago. When I was at my sister's (an RN) back in July, she took my blood pressure at my request. It was only slightly more elevated than super-fit-and-healthy Tyler's, and well within the normal/healthy range. I'm guessing it's even better now. High blood pressure runs in my family so to be "normal" is doubly great. At some point, I plan to have a complete blood panel done as well as a physical. It would've been nice to know my starting point, but I'll be happy with healthy numbers now and no comparison. And maybe I will actually acknowledge my next birthday. ;-)

Sunday Miscellany

First, thank you all for the wonderful response to my wallet pattern! I can't wait to see what everyone makes — you *will* be sharing, right??

(In case you missed yesterday's post, the wallet pattern you've been watching come together over the last few weeks is now available in my Etsy shop, and the link is at the top of the left sidebar.)

Speaking of wallets … one of my testers, Beth, has blogged about her testing experience here. I think hers turned out very cute! (Especially for a test and a beginner's first-go at wallets!) Love the purple check! She did run into a snag with fabric choice which you can read about on her blog and which was my fault since the first version of the instructions wasn't specific about recommended fabrics and the prototypes I was showing on my blog used cammie fabric. (But, surprisingly, cammie fabric actually isn't thick at all.) The instructions are updated and I have a feeling Beth will be making another since they're quite addicting.

Here's what my finished and stuffed-full wallet looks like from the side:

In other cammie news … I've been working on a Marine cammie purse order and was all set to finish it tonight, except — I ran out of thread. And Joann's closed an hour ago. ARgghhhhh!

This one is a "special order" from a man who is buying it as a surprise for his wife. (Hmmm ... I hope she doesn't read my blog!!) They have one son who is an active Marine and another in boot camp. He sent a "retired" cammie blouse from the active Marine and since both were baseball players, a lining fabric to reflect that was requested.

I think this fabric is perfect — baseball and patriotic!

It's killing me that I can't finish it tonight, but I guess I'll "sacrifice" and catch up with my DVR and just chill.

In the meantime, here's a pic of what I'm wearing today. Remember when I mentioned a while back that I was buying the Walmart capris in my current size and then a pair in one and two sizes smaller? As of yesterday, I'm in the one size smaller now. My top  is belted and bloused because it's also really too big. Without as much tummy sticking out, it hangs way too far down. Yes, I should re-hem it. And maybe I will. ;-)

Parting Shot: The Marines at Cherry Point survived Hurricane Irene without major incident. They lost power for a while and Tyler reported a soaked and dirty area rug in his 3rd floor barracks room. Yes, *third* floor, but apparently the strong winds pushed the rain under the door and they had a mini flood. But far worse than all of that was this "horrible experience" …

Click to enlarge

Just for Kicks

… and because I know that you're sick of seeing wallets …

This is me in August 2004 (nice tan, fluffy hair!):

And this is me 10 minutes ago (no tan, air-dry hair). IOW, seven years later. Weird camera angle — I have a peanut head. lol But I look taller in this pic than in the other, right?

I haven't been able to wear this skirt for *years* but I never tossed it because it's a favorite pattern (Burda 8623) and it was one of the very first things I ever coverstitched with my then-new coverstitch machine. You can't see very well in these photos, but there are seams running down the front and I used the CS machine to double-topstitch them, as well as the hem band.

I'm SO glad this fits again, especially since I haven't yet taken in my white denim skirt. Maybe I'll just punt on re-doing it again and make a new white denim skirt from this pattern. If I only had white denim.

The top I'm wearing in the 2nd, today-photo is the CJ wrap top I made a couple of years ago, and to which I had to add sideseam "gussets" to make it fit. It's now big enough that I can remove those (via serger, of course). When I get a round tuit. ;-) For now, I just wear it around the house. I should make another one of these too.

I think I've lost around 40 lbs now. Since I didn't get on a scale at the start, I don't really know. I'm still not eating any processed carbs at all, and my total daily food intake has gone way, way down overall. Most days, I actually have to remind myself to eat because I'm never hungry. That is a completely new experience for me. It must be what naturally skinny people feel like. I really need to force myself to work out more, though. I was again shocked by my arms last night - they're starting to look a little flabby. Not fat-flabby but total-lack-of-muscle-tone-flabby. I wish sewing was a workout. ;-) Note to self: STOP looking at arms at night.

Back to drawing my wallet pattern on the computer …

Wednesday Ramblings

I got this DVD from the library yesterday and did the two beginning sessions this morning. And it about KILLED me. But the burn is good, right? ;-)

So, this DVD is aimed at new mothers. Yeah, well. I'm definitely not a new mother, nor do I ever plan to be again, but I do have the abs in need of dire rescue so I figured what the heck. It's actually perfect for me. It's toning exercises on a mat with a resistance band, a ball or pillow, and later a 3 lb. weight, without the bounce-around aerobic stuff that I suck at and just plain hate. Plus, the "host" Tracey Mallett is Australian and I do love those Aussie accents! I will definitely do "just 8 more" every time I hear her ask. But seriously, I think I can actually follow this DVD regularly. The time went fast, and I even watched it once before I did the routines so the total time I spent this morning was really double. I did have to fight off the dogs trying to lick my face all over with me down on the floor at their level, which could be a problem when I'm flinging weights around. Silly dogs. I'm sure we all looked quite a sight. No, there will be no photos of this.

I also got a Pilates DVD from the library and I'll "preview" that one tonight. It's rated for Level 4, which I didn't notice until it was home and if the beginner stage from the above DVD killed me, this one may just close the casket and throw the dirt on top. 

I'm still waiting for the South Beach Workout DVD I ordered from Amazon. It's supposed to be short but effective spurts of interval training that I can do on my eliptical bike. Hopefully I'll like that one so it can be my cardio. I hate cardio.

I also dug out my old scale and it seems to be working. Maybe I was just wishing it was broken? I needed a starting place to figure out BMI, etc., so it was time to face the number. At least I didn't have to buy a new scale to do it. The number is still way more than I want it to be eventually, but it's actually less than I was expecting for now so I'm not depressed about it. No, there will be no photos of that either. ;-)

I'm going to start on this pattern this afternoon. It arrived on Monday and should fit nicely into my informal "Summer of Dresses" plan. There are still others I want to revisit - Vogue 1250 and See & Sew 5593 to name two, but a new pattern to try out is TOO intoxicating so that's what I'm going to work on first.

No matter what stage I'm in with dressmaking by this weekend, I'll have to clear off the sewing table and start (and hopefully finish) another one of these bags:

Another mom of another Tyler in Marine boot camp found my blog and has commissioned me to make it for her. Her son is due to graduate from boot camp on August 22 and she wants to take it to Parris Island then. Ooo RAH!

And MY mother has twisted my arm (ahem) to come back to Virginia the weekend of July 29 to teach her how to use the serger she bought probably 2 years ago now. She lives about an hour from my sister, where my Tyler will be that weekend working with my brother-in-law to put a new transmission into the car he just bought. We knew it needed a transmission when he bought it (no 3rd gear!), so this has always been the plan. And while they have the old transmission out, they will be replacing the clutch too — just because they can. (Insert manly grunting noises here.) So, I think Tyler may be close to SICK of seeing me after this, although I will never give up any opportunity to see him so my mom didn't have to twist my arm too tight. Which she knew and used to her advantage. Like all moms do. She's buying me a plane ticket so at least I don't have to do that drive twice in one month. Two-hour non-stop flight vs. 14 hours on the road? No brainer. See you next weekend mom!

* * * * *

Responses to some comments/questions:

Diane: "No problem with you "singling me out" lol I appreciate your comments although I'm not convinced that you are a lazy seamstress - - - - I almost never even do a muslin. Therefore, you are not as lazy as me!"

Trust me, I am. Making a muslin is so I don't have to make something twice just to get it to fit. Muslins are fast and ugly. Making two whole garments takes a lot more time. And I don't even muslin every new pattern anymore.

KellysSewing: "Is your son still stationed in NC? Mine is headed to Camp Lejuene in a couple weeks for 2 years. Opposite side of the US for me!"

Tyler is at MCAS Cherry Point NC, which is about an hour from LeJeune (CP is south, I think, but I could be wrong). There's not a whole lot for a single guy to do around either town, but LeJeune is a HUGE base, so I'm sure he can stay busy. I hope you can work out seeing your son as often as possible. I know how hard it is when they're gone.

Cheryl: "I wanted to comment on your prospective ab workout. Don't train any muscle group more than one day in a row; the muscles need the time to recover. Surely it's got to be good news that 20 minutes every day is too much. :-)"

Fantastic news! See above comments re KILLING me. ;-)

Mel: "Terrific tutorial! I have a question though, does the panel add weight (and heat) to the front of the top? I have tops that just have a small modesty panel in the front of the neckline and not attached to the rest of the seams. Just curious as I live in the same "hot house" state that you do."

and

flynn37: "I love the prints you buy, but one question - I assume they are polyester? You don't sweat like crazy in the Florida humidity? I just moved to Florida and am afraid to buy anything not cotton..."

I've been in Florida for 22 years so I'm used to the heat and humidity. But today's polyesters are actually pretty comfortable to wear and do breathe. They also wick away the moisture and let it evaporate, which is something cotton doesn't do. I always feel damp wearing cotton, but usually cool wearing a good polyester. And I'm a slave to those great prints. ;-)

I suppose the extra panel on the cowl top from yesterday does add weight, but I'm not really noticing it. I wore one of them all day yesterday running errands and I wasn't any more uncomfortable in the heat/humidity of a Florida July day than usual.

Kira: "Can the gift card be used by someone in the UK?"

Yes, as far as I know, since Fabric.com does ship internationally.

Kris O: "I love the fabric on your newly-made top. Did you mention the source and I just missed it?"

They are both ITY knits and recent purchases from Fabric.com.

Belinda: "Have you always loved bright colors or is this something you grew into?"

I've always loved bright prints. Which is strange considering how shy I can be in real life, until I get to know someone. Maybe it's my way of telling the world, "Hey, talk to me because I'm too shy to start the conversation." ;-) But I've also been working on that, making it a point to say hi to strangers and smile. So far, so good.

I've also had a couple questions about my dressform. It's a Dritz My Double, and I reviewed it here. In the review are also a couple of links to online discussions and tips about dressforms in general and how to pad them out to fit you (which mine doesn't anymore, but I don't really ever use it to fit me anyway).

* * * * *

And the WINNER from the July 13, 2011 Giveaway (Custom Couture) is …

I chose lazysubculturalgirl because I just couldn't bear the thought of her feeling so guilty for so long about all those Old Navy things, especially since she so dutifully spent her husband's gift card on them. ;-)

Congratulations lazysubculturalgirl! I hope we see some "refashioning" posts from you soon. Please contact me at djc at cedesign dot com with your mailing info no later than Wednesday, July 26, 2011 (after all Winners have been announced, in case of duplicates). If I don't hear from you by then, I will draw another number/name.

Fine print: For all the Giveaways last week and this week, each entrant can only win once and in the case of duplicates, I'll contact you for your choice and then draw again randomly on what's left. Clear? And if you do enter, please check back over the next two weeks to see who won because if I don't hear from you within a few days after announcing winners, I'll draw/decide again. Again, anyone anywhere can enter this or any Giveaway which is still open.

* * * * *

Parting Shot:

This just arrived in my inbox as I was typing. "Putting panels back on" is all I know. I'm assuming the panels that hold in bombs or something, since that's what he works on.

More Mirror Time

Right as I sat down at the computer to write this, Laceflower commented on yesterday's post:

"You don't need WW meetings, you have us cheering you on."

And d'ya know what? She's EXACTLY right. I have never met any of you in person, but you have no idea how much I appreciate and gain strength from your support in comments and emails. Being able to share and know someone is out there paying attention is amazing. I'll also let you in on a little secret — one of my goals for 2012 is to travel to NYC for a fabric-buying trip and/or to another location for one of the sewing get-togethers (if I'm actually still welcome to any PR events, long story for another time!). Since I'm not embarrassed by how I look anymore, I'm looking forward to getting out and about! So watch out cuz I'm gonna be meeting some of you soon! ;-)

* * * * *

Before getting into the shower, I had another try-on session in front of the huge mirror in my bedroom. I even set up the camera on the tripod so my pics would be nice and clear. And guess what? Every single photo is dark and all of the jeans — whether brown, purple, green, or blue — look exactly the same! Arggggh. So, my apologies but you'll have to use your imagination on some of these pics. Hey, at least my new cheapie Walmart PJs didn't shrink up in the wash. You'll be seeing those in nearly every pic. ;-)

Here we go …

These are green, and one of my favorites. I made them in 2006 and the last time they fit was probably in 2007.

Now:

(Click to Enlarge)

2006:

The "Turkey Pants" from 2008. Too big now. Yay!

2008:

(which reminds me, I need to dig out that jacket too)

Brown jeans I made in 2008, which never fit again after I washed them a few more times. They fit now. One leg is cuffed up because I'm thinking of shortening them to capris, since they should be too big by the time it's winter here.

And for laughs, "Mom Jeans" (khakis) from who knows when. The are RTW and I have never worn them. I don't know why I still have them, except maybe to crack myself up when I pull them out. Technically they fit, but look at those front saddlesbags that I don't even really have.

More green jeans. From 2004 on the right. On the left, how they don't fit currently. These will be my next benchmark.

(I still have that twinset too - I have a BIG closet!)

I'm starting a box for all the too-big stuff. I'm not quite ready to toss or donate yet because I want to try on later for reference and the fat girl in me says keep 'em around just in case. Once the skinny girl appears and takes over, the box and its contents will go. So, yeah, I'll be moving a big box of trash.

Parting Shot: Recent fabric purchases from Fabric Mart, Fabric.com, and Gorgeous Fabrics. One fabric not shown is a brown ITY knit with white polka-dots from the Fabric Mart order that arrived yesterday. I'm going to be using that next to make another casual summer dress. I'm also a little miffed that (1) right after I bought the prints from Fabric Mart, they went on sale the next day; (2) they are now half price from that at Fabric.com, not counting the 15% off coupon and free shipping; and (3) these still aren't the greatest rayon knits (I really miss Lucy's Fabrics). Oh well.The solid turquoise is for a top for my sister. Unless I change my mind. ;-)

This isn't even everything.

* * * * *

Oh, and I don't want to jinx things, but I heard from one of my "headhunters" today about a possible interview this week. Let's keep our fingers crossed. Well, UNcross them first to leave me lots of comments. ::wink::

The Long Journey (and LONG post!)

Gwen asked, "What diet are you following?" The short answer is nothing in particular.

The side story is …

I did have success with Weight Watchers about 7-8 years ago and I contemplated it again but, truthfully, I just can't afford the fees right now and I was never impressed with our local meetings anyway. Those two things alone would make it a no-go. But I also remember being CONSUMED by the whole thing. Counting calories/fat/fiber, counting points, counting down until my next fix … er … meal, counting pounds lost and re-gained, counting my checkbook. Don't get me wrong — I think WW is basically a good system for many people and I did lose 60 lbs with it (all found again when I went off the plan), but I've come to the conclusion that it's just not for me. I need to get away from always thinking about food in one way or another. WW stresses that it's not really a diet but a lifestyle change. I disagree. In my mind, it's a diet. A lifestyle change to me is one that you don't have to think about too much after a certain point and it just becomes What You Do. I don't want to count points or calories for the rest of my life.

But that's getting ahead of myself. Let's backtrack.

The long answer is (pull up a chair) …

I didn't actually set out to lose weight. With all the other upheavals going on in my life, I was relying on my old standby of food for comfort. I was finding lots of love in those cookies and Kit Kat bars. ;-)

But then, I had major dental work (which is still ongoing and will be for a while), which forced a dietary change. I literally could NOT eat the same foods I used to.

So, full disclosure time (pull an ottoman up next to that chair and put your feet up) …

About 4 years ago, I was having some dental pain and went to a dentist who turned out to be horrible in a terribly insensitive sort of way. He told me point-blank that I'd have to have ALL of my teeth extracted and then started pushing implants to the tune of close to $50,000. (Yeah, like I could afford that. I could barely afford the $300 for the pleasure of that examination and bad news.) The bad teeth news wasn't new, even though I have *always* taken good care of my teeth and visited dentists regularly. I had been told previously that I needed periodontal work, but I had NO IDEA it had progressed to this point. I wasn't even 45 and the thought of an "old lady's" gummy mouth and dentures really did me in. Visions of Apalachia and Skid Row filled my imagination. I was a complete wreck.

And I was very embarrassed. So I put my head in the sand and ignored it. But then one tooth visible in the upper front decided to enjoy some gravity action and eventually was hanging down a good deal more than my other teeth. Man, I didn't want to go anywhere or see anyone, and pretty much didn't. (Any photos of me in my control during the last 5 or so years have had this tooth Photoshopped back to normal. Any others, I simply didn't smile with an open mouth.) I know it sounds superficial and what-not, but for my whole life I had always been told I have a pretty smile and it was a part of my identity. And then it wasn't and it was ugly and weird. I was very self-conscious. I never smiled full-mouth in public anymore.

Enter Dr. Amir. I really just lucked into him. I saw an ad, knew I had to do *something* for the job-search and my overall well-being, and made an appointment to test the waters. He's been wonderful (and the previously-mentioned good looks and London accent don't hurt either!). I literally cried out my heart to him, blubbering about suddenly having no job, a pending divorce, being an overall emotional wreck, etc., etc. He told me that I did NOT have to lose all my teeth, that there were really only (yeah, "only") some that were too far gone to save, and all of them except that one dangly tooth were in the back. He was so kind and supportive, and assured me he would work with me on pricing, payments and treatment plan to fit my budget and schedule. And his specialty, I later found out, is implants but yet he wasn't pushing those on me at all. He listened to me and came up with a plan that would work for me right now.

Dr. Amir has been true to his word and now I'm OK. In fact, I'm feeling so much better about all of this that I'm even willing to put it out to the world for all eternity. I've always been a spill-your-guts kinda girl, except this "secret" had been so embarrassing and demoralizing. I can't tell you how glad I am that it's behind me and I can let it go.

So, back to the "diet" …

I had just had the upper extractions done and was given the final partial denture thing to fill in the holes (it looks a lot like a retainer and stays in with clasps and not denture adhesives) 1-1/2 days before I left for my sister's graduation party in Virginia. And my mouth HURT! Dr. Amir told me that it would hurt for a while and recommended soft foods, but *good* foods like fruits and veggies — he's a health nut but more on that later. He was going away that weekend too, and actually called me on his cell during his trip to make sure I was OK for mine. See, I told you he was great!

Anyway, after the first day of feeling too yucky in general to even want to eat anything, it became quite a learning experience to see what I actually physically could and could not eat. Especially on a 14-hour road trip where driving through fast food joints was the plan. I quickly learned that McDonald's french fries were excruciating. I couldn't believe it! (And haven't had one since!) In fact, pretty much *anything* at McD's was out, except those delicious frozen drinks they sell. So for the ride up, I lived on Frappes and frozen strawberry lemonades and watched Alex eat the solid stuff. Yes, those drinks are high-calorie, but when they are your ONLY calories, it's not so bad. As the trip progressed, I also tried some of their yogurt with fruit and that was OK too, except for the apple chunks. Wendy's baked potatoes were OK too.

During various hotel stays, restaurant outings, my sister's party, etc., I learned that pretty much any bread/grain anything was out. I just couldn't chew breads or pasta, which really surprised me because I thought they would be "soft." Eggs and grilled fish were in. (Thank heaven for my mom's deviled eggs at the party!) Other meats were out. Rice, too weird. Ripe fruits and cooked veggies were in. Lettuce, and thus any salads, out. Any of my usual "comforts" such as cakes, cookies, etc. just didn't feel the same in my mouth so they didn't comfort - out. Candy - I still haven't had the nerve to try anything sticky, so out. Hard candy, very weird to suck on but I've had a few. Beer, in. Oops. ;-) But besides many of my usual foods being too painful or weird-feeling to eat, I also had to eat whatever I could eat VERY SLOWLY, and with very small bites. I still do. Now it takes me a LOT longer to eat a LOT less. This is a Good Thing, even if Alex does tease me about how slow I am. ;-)

Once we were back from the road trip, my weekly trips to the dentist for check-ups and adjustments started. As I mentioned earlier, Dr. Amir is a health nut. In a good way, though. He's not preachy, just casually educational and supportive. He wears these really funny shoes that have toes. They crack me up, but they look so comfortable. Alex tells me they are rock climbing shoes.

I could tell in the first week that I had already dropped a significant amount of weight from just plain not eating and I mentioned this to Dr. Amir as a positive "side effect" and we then continued talking about food options during my weekly visits. He said I should stay away from non-fat anything, since the fat is usually replaced with sugar and/or other unhealthy things to make the food still taste good, and that the fats in dairy and proteins are actually good for you. We discussed eggs being the "perfect food" both in consistency for my mouth and for their nutritional values. Eggs are very much erroneously maligned by Big Junk Food. You don't raise your cholesterol by eating cholesterol (eggs), you raise it by eating too many bad carbs/sugar which turn into the bad cholesterol in your body (it's more complicated than that, but this is long enough!). I actually really knew all this already, but we are so marketed about processed junk from Big Food that it's easy to buy into the non-fat hype and not think about it. I'm glad Dr. Amir reminded me because my brain started clicking …

… and after knowing what I was actually eating and still losing weight without being hungry, I decided to do a little bit of research on my own to learn more about why it was working for me. It turns out that I've fallen into a derivation of Atkins or a Ketogenic diet, which is to say cutting carbs and increasing the fat and protein, which causes the body to rely on fat instead of sugar for fuel, and it's this fat-burning process which is making me lose weight. I'm NOT eating like the "induction" phase of Atkins which is to cut out almost everything except fat/protein. It's much more balanced than that, and I'm not feeling deprived at all. I think I would feel deprived during an Atkins induction.

My typical food choices now are fresh eggs or Egg Beaters every day; yogurt with fruit (and fat); fresh fruit such as bananas, oranges, peaches, melons, and tomatoes; steamed fresh or frozen green veggies; soups; seafood such as tuna, oysters, crab, shrimp, fresh fish; and cheese. Meats have been limited to chicken and ground turkey and sometimes very small amounts of beef and pork, depending on consistency. Which is fine with me, because I've always actually preferred fish to meat. Pasta is still nearly impossible to chew so I don't eat much of it and instead will nuke a small potato or eat more veggies. Rice is still weird and will probably always be. Regular breads are out, but I have been making little egg or seafood "pizzas" with the whole-grain 100 calorie rounds because their consistency is a lot easier for me to chew. (My sister had them and I tried one there.) My sweet tooth is satisfied by oranges and peaches, or low-sugar puddings sometimes mixed with a sliced banana, or oatmeal with brown sugar or honey. Surprisingly, I haven't really craved chocolate at all. (I know, right?)

At this point, I'm not really craving anything and I'm not ever hungry. In fact, I'm spending hardly any time at all thinking about food and when I do eat, I'm eating less and still very slowly. It's like the inverse of what I was saying about Weight Watchers at the beginning of this long, long, LONG ::smile:: post. I feel I've made a positive lifestyle change and am not on a diet. It helps tremendously that there are definitely things I simply cannot eat without discomfort, but I'm truly not missing them. They were a (bad) habit, not a physical need. My physical needs are being met and the old habits are being replaced with healthier and more nutritious choices.

But it's also more than that. With my smile back, I'm also feeling better about myself in general and am not inclined to comfort myself with junk food. I'm not embarrassed to open my mouth anymore. I smile all the time. So, I've got a partial upper denture. So what!! It could be a lot worse. A. Lot. Worse. I never thought I'd be thankful for a denture, but I actually am. It's made me feel like me again on the outside, which is making the inside feel pretty good too. Now, I don't recommend getting some teeth yanked out to jumpstart weight loss, but for me it forced a change for the better. I'm choosing to see it as a positive.

I go back to see Dr. Amir tomorrow. I'm having a routine cleaning, a cavity filled, and we'll make plans for the bridge work that's to come for my lower teeth, so I can avoid a lower denture completely.

Life is pretty OK right now. And it will be great when I find a job and can really start my new life.