I've decided to move on to a commercial pattern for the next purse, for a few reasons: I'm kind of tired of working with "my" pattern at the moment. It's really more my style than my mom's. And I bought a whole bunch of purse patterns during the BMV and PR sales and on Etsy and I'm wanting to use one (all of them!). If I'm being honest, it's the last reason that's tugging the hardest, and who am I to argue? ;-)
So last night I decided on a modification to View D of Butterick 5197, shown above, and this morning I started cutting out the pattern pieces. But before I had all the sheets unfolded, I was confronted by this:
The Dumbest Pattern Piece Ever.
Yes, an ENTIRE pattern sheet printed with crisscrossing diagonal dotted lines. OK, so the pattern instructions call for pre-quilting your chosen fabric (which I'm bypassing), but does one really need an ENTIRE pattern sheet to know how to do it?
I had to look up in the instructions to see exactly what was supposed to be done with this sheet and I learned that you are supposed to pin it to your fabric/batting sandwich, then baste it, and then sew over each of the dotted lines. Really? The writers conveniently forgot to mention how long it will take to pick out all those leftover bits of tissue after you tear off the "pattern." Why didn't Butterick either instruct to use a quilting guide on your machine or just chalk the lines in using a ruler? Dumb, dumb, dumb. And how many trees, worker hours, press runs, and energy units were wasted in the making of this?
Other runners-up in the Dumbest Pattern Piece Ever category? Rectangles for anything and/or pattern pieces for elastic instead of a length measurement in the instructions.
What pattern pieces have you come across that make you scratch your head and laugh?
Hot Diggety Dum-da-dum, dum, DUMB!
ReplyDeleteLOL! That is seriously dumb. I know I've come across dumb pattern pieces in the past that have left me scratching my head, but I think this one might be the winner of this category.
ReplyDeleteWow, I totally agree that this example and the "elastic/ribbon guides" (one of which I just dealt with) are the stupidest pattern pieces ever. I don't really have a problem with the rectangles, though. On the other hand, though, I don't mind a pattern that gives measurements for the rectangles, either.
ReplyDeleteI ran into the same thing with a chennile jacket and vest pattern. Once I threw away those useless pages, the pattern was practically fat.
ReplyDeleteI sew a lot for my youngest daughter and you wouldn't believe how many elastic pattern pieces there are. Really. I normally measure the sizes off, write it on the pattern directions and throw them away.
ReplyDeleteReally, is printing the pattern piece easier than just writing in the length in the directions?
The previous comment is from me, not my teen daughter. Do they even learn to log out?
ReplyDeleteI have to say that elastic and ribbon guides are the most aggravating. Drives me nuts. Why can't they just say, " cut the elastic two inches smaller than the waist measurement."? Pattern companies assume we are ignorant on the most common sensical parts of the construction and fully knowledgeable on the most obviously complicated.
ReplyDeletetoo funny! LOL
ReplyDeleteElastic. Drives me bananas. Just tell me how long it should be!!
ReplyDeleteOMG, how useless! I can't beat that.
ReplyDeleteElastic guides are most useless pattern pieces. Do they think we don't know how to measure something? Besides, who doesn't just whack out roughly the length it should be and then adjust to the body?
ReplyDeletethat is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteToo funny :))
ReplyDeleteAnother vote for "elastic guides" followed closely but "buttonhole guides". Some of the patterns have the buttonholes marked on the front piece ... why do others have buttonhole "guides"?
ReplyDeleteThis has nothing to do with sewing, but for some reason your dumb pattern piece reminded me of those pages in books that are marked "This page intentionally left blank."
ReplyDeleteIt also brought to mind those superfluous instructions on shampoo bottles — is there anyone alive who doesn't know how to wash their hair?
That's hysterical!
ReplyDeleteActually Michael, the last page of many pattern instruction sheet sets also have that "intentionally left blank" notation too, so you're right on target. And if you saw me this weekend after cleaning up the yard post the big storm earlier in the week, you'd wonder if I even knew what shampoo was. ;-)
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, I have been frustrated by patterns that tell me to make the elastic x" smaller than the child's waist, or thigh, or whatever. Ideally, yes, we measure on live people. But sometimes I am sewing for a child who is not present - for charity, or for a surprise - and I then end up searching the internet for the "average" size waist for a three-year-old, for example! So "no" to an actual pattern piece, but "yes" to specific measurements!
ReplyDeleteHilarious, reinforces my suspicion that real sewers don't even see some of these instructions. My own favourite was a slipcover pattern that was just large rectangles and told you to put it over the chair and smooth.
ReplyDeletelol - yea, pretty useless! :)
ReplyDeleteI see I'm not the only one who loathes "guide for elastic." For the love of whomever, please just write in the directions how long to cut the elastic! So much easier than trying to use the stupid guide.
ReplyDeleteLOL - that is a spectacularly inane pattern piece. I join the chorus of "elastic guides are idiotic" - just tell me how long to cut it.
ReplyDeleteHave to add to the chorus of disliking the pattern piece for elastic length! How ridiculous!
ReplyDelete